‘It’s not personal; it’s just business’ is a myth

“It’s not personal; it’s just business.”

Maybe you’ve said this to a colleague or friend, or maybe someone has said it to you. It’s usually meant to soften the blow of a negative outcome for one side of a negotiation or situation, but thinking that business isn’t personal is just plain wrong, says Josefine Campbell, author of Power Barometer: Manage personal energy—not just time and money.

“When you lead, when you’re being led; when you collaborate or when you communicate, you do it through the medium that is you as a person,” she says. “That’s why business is personal. You will never be able to take the person out of the equation.”

Business is personal, but Campbell says it’s not private. While you connect with others through your personality, you don’t need to take it to a private level. Professional and private are entities that are opposites and can be kept separate.

Understanding the Personal Side of Business

Acknowledging that business is personal is the first step—and an important one when you’re a leader. You have to make an effort to determine how you are personally showing up. Campbell says this requires an increasing amount of awareness. She has identified four states of mind in an awareness matrix: States fall on an X and Y axis of high energy or low energy and in a ready state of mind or a hijacked one.

“When you’re hijacked, it’s your instinct and auto response—the amygdala—that is running your behavior,” Campbell says. “Neurologically you are unable to have self-awareness. What happens when you are hijacked is that your ears stop working. For example, it can be annoying if other people have other ideas than what you’re trying to promote.”

The states of mind are like moods, and most people pass through a variety of them during the day. Understanding the matrix and identifying where you fall will help you lead yourself and others in a more sustainable way. The states influence your performance as well as how you are perceived by others.

1. Agile

This is the best state to be in when you’re leading or collaborating, Campbell says. You’re ready for whatever comes your way and have the energy to deal with it.

“When you’re agile, you can choose the perspective you see people from and the way you want to react,” she says. “You are in a state of mind where you can see things from many angles.”

2. Mellow

In this state you have low energy but are still ready. Moving out of this state requires replenishing your energy or you risk moving into the fragile state of mind.

“Perhaps you’re a little subdued and withdrawn,” Campbell says. “Or maybe you’re just following the crowd—depending on your temperament. There’s nothing wrong with being mellow or tired, as long as you replenish your energy.”

3. Narrow

This state of mind is where you have high levels of focus but low energy. However, you’re not flexible or open to other points of view. “In the narrow state, you can be very productive or accomplish things you’ve been putting off,” Campbell says. “This state of mind is a type of focus that lets you zero in on a task right to the end.”

This state isn’t ideal for collaboration, though, as your brain thinks you’re in a situation you must survive. “This reduces your ability to analyze, see things in perspective, make the best decisions, and think logically and creatively. In addition, your brain pumps the stress hormones cortisol, adrenaline, and noradrenaline into your body, severely draining your energy level.”

4. Fragile

In this state, your energy level is low and your brain is hijacked. You’re easily stressed and overwhelmed, and you can’t be ready for anything.

“Even people who are gifted and are good contributors can become a heavy burden on a team if they are mostly fragile,” Campbell explains. “When you’re worn out, not only do you feel that you’ve been drained dry but you can also drain others.”

Using the Matrix as a Leader

Understanding the four states can also help you lead others by gleaning insights on where someone currently falls on the matrix. Campbell says having empathy will allow you to seek understanding of what goes on inside other people so that you can adjust your own behavior accordingly.

“Sometimes when I work with leaders, and I mention the word empathy, they say, ‘Oh, no. I don’t want to be run by other people’s emotions,’” Campbell says. “That’s not what empathy is about. Empathy is having access to insights about what goes on inside other people so you can use it as data when making your decisions.”

When leaders acknowledge and understand the personal aspect of business, they promote psychological safety, Campbell says, noting, “People can use the energy in a more constructive way than protecting themselves.”

By leaning into the states of awareness, leaders can impact and improve productivity and collaboration within the team, helping each other work together to create better results.